Then and Now

Then, I needed answers to my questions; now, I need justifications for my assumptions.

Then, questions were to satisfy my curiosity; now, the questions are to satisfy my vanity.

Then, doing the work was what mattered; now, being seen doing the work is what matters. 

Then, a bad day could still end with good sleep; now, a bad day means no sleep. 

Then, a vacation meant two months of lazing; now, vacation means 4 days of frenetic blur.

Then, I was human; now, I am a zombie.

Did I change – Yes, but did I grow – I am not sure. Five years is not a great amount of time, but why is it I feel old already?

I Had a Dream

I had a dream. And before I proceed further, let me clarify, it was not the “Martin Luther Jr. – I Had a Dream” sort of dream. Sorry, oppressed peoples of the world, but this wouldn’t lead to any emancipation of any kind. Nor is it the “You need to wake up from your dream to realize your dream” kind of dream that Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam talks about. It was a normal I-had-a-dream-now-what-was-it-maybe-i-should-sleep-over-and-hope-the-dream-explains-itself kind of dream.

I have a grouse with all these great people. They have made dreaming so complicated and lofty; I now quail to have a dream. And even if I dream, mentioning something as trite as my “un”lofty dream to others demands more guts than is there in me. All this when you expect appreciation over the effort you put to recollect the dream. Once again, I am wandering off … the eternal problem with loquacious guys… so I was writing about … yes, the dream I had last night.

To be honest I guess I had lots of mini-dreams last night - in the typical dream style – you are in one dream and suddenly for no rhyme or reason you move into another dream in a way that makes perfect sense in the dream world. I wouldn’t bore you with all those; I guess I don’t want to bore even myself with those. I am not the kind of guy who encourages the profession of dream interpretation as a way to improve the economy. And anyway I don’t remember them.  Yeah, I know, I have wandered again…

So I had this dream in which there was an MC who was introducing the speaker to an audience of around 100 people. And before you ask, I was neither the speaker nor the MC – even my sub-conscious mind seems to have resigned to the fact that I would not stand behind the rostrum. Anyway, this MC was saying “So let me introduce you to the person whom I best describe as cube root of square of four….” And believe it or not, I began calculating the value in my sleep. That’s when I got up sweating in my palms, a single question resounding in my mind…

I realize it doesn’t need an oneiromancer to analyze this dream – anyone can interpret this one – “Surely the dreamer has gone nuts; his madness is at such an advanced stage now that he is mad even in his dreams”, I hear you say in undertones. But if any of you know anyone who can tell me what else is there to this dream (beyond the obvious “losing marbles” interpretation) can you kindly consult with him (or more probably her) and tell me the sagacious conclusions? Till then, I would be sleeping on pines and needles.